The Typical "Ah Beng"....

If you are a "Ah Beng" wannabe.......this is what you need!!

Must Haves!!

1) Swear alot!! Yes!! The more the merrier!!........never miss out words like "Na Beh!", "Kan Ni Na!!", "Chi Bai" and "Wah Lan Eh" as a start.

2) Long fingernails - yes, the longer the better......especially pinky finger's. They are solely for scratching back and picking nose.

3) Dyed hair - As long as you stand out in the crowd, nothing matters!! You can bleach your hair blonde, yellow,white or whatever!! It doesnt matter. You can even dye your hair half red and half white, nobody cares!!

4) A trademark comb helps. Yes!! vanity helps!! But make sure you keep your comb sticking out from your back pocket, it's fine!! Comes in handy!!

5) Loads of accesories!! Remember, gold chains and neckalces are must haves!!

6) Counterfeit Rolexes to show off.

7) Suzuki GTI/Honda Civic V-Tec, Honda CRX/Nissan 200 FX, outfitted with a sound system that allows everyone in a 2-m vicinity to feel the thump of every single bass beat in your favourite dance remix album. Must be kitted with spoilers and extra body parts, the favourite being The Last Supper attachment at the back of the car, so called because the shape of the whale tail-type attachment looks like the table in the Last Supper painting. And to make it the ultimate Beng mobile - disco lights that light up when you hit the brakes.

8) Branded goods such as "Valentino", DKNY, Versace and any "big big" names you can remember are to be displayed at all times!! Labels are also to be displayed prominently and to be read by all.

9) Branded jeans, shiny polyster cyber techno shirts, tight fitting jeans with flare, gaudy patterned shirts are vital in order to look cool and hip.

10) Membership in discos are essential to ensure a supply of "Ah Lian"(female version) babes. Hip "Ah Lian" babes to show off to fellow Ah Bengs.